I am no ones replacement, I am just me.

The minute I locked eyes with him, I knew he was the one for me. Something was different…set him apart from the others…no one could even compare. I had met the man who I knew I was supposed to spend my life with.

Honest from the beginning, one of the first things he told me was that he had 2 girls. Ok, no big deal. Nearly 10 months later, still not that big of a deal, rather, a big change.

I’m still learning my way around my new life…though…it didnt exactly come with a map. Opening new doors, going down different hallways…I seem to navigate pretty well.

A step-mom in training I guess. And as a step-mom in training, to all you others out there, below are a few things that you need to know for yourself…to better help you acclimate to your new role:

• You are no ones replacement
• You are not here to fill someone elses shoes
• You are not a glorified baby sitter
• You are not a rent-a-mom
• You are just you

One of my favorite movies is Notting Hill with Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant. Julia’s character approaches Hugh’s and says “I am just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me.” (she’s some super famous actress in the movie who falls in love with a regular bloke)

I am just me…a woman, who fell in love with a man…who happens to have kids. I dare not replace their mother as I am no ones replacement. I am not a stand in..I am permanent.

It is what it is.

At times I don’t feel like my little heart can’t take it, other times I welcome the challenge, and half the time I’m just over-analyzing every single detail. I drive myself crazy. And if I drive myself crazy, I’m sure I drive others crazy too lol.

For those times that I falter, I force myself to put on my big girl panties and get the f**k over it. That is the only thing that I can do because it is what it is.

I had a general idea of what I was getting into but I dont think I truly understood. I met the love of my life…finally. He happens to have two kids with another woman. Ok, when you say it like that it doesnt sound so friendly. Lets re-phrase:

I met the love of my life and he has two beautiful children.

Ok that sounds a world better lol. So I knew the situation at hand and I appreciated his honesty when he told me this information. At the time, I thought to myself…”no big deal…im great with kids!”

HA! I got used to plans changing with a drop of a hat…I understand I share his attention with these two little lovebugs, I got used to the extra dishes, extra laundry, and extra time that we thought would just be me and him can suddenly change to me, him, and his & hers. I get it. The one thing that I got used too quickly was the love that was shown to me both by him and the kids. I feel lucky in that regard.

I am still learning how to fit in to this already made family. I am still trying to grasp the fact that I will never be the only woman in his life. There will always be another…and even though i’m at the top of the list, the list has more than one name on it.

Sometimes my big girl panties dont fit and I put up a fight…kicking and screaming. Once i’m talked off the ledge, I tell myself this: it is what it is.